Crazies of the Internet

Up until yesterday I was involved in a Facebook group and when the admin called for submissions in a hurry for a publication they edit to meet deadline, I submitted a piece of work to the supplied email. 

No response. 

I left a 'comment' on the original post, with Person tagged (I called it a message).

No response. 

I left a few more similar tagged comments.

No response. 

Yesterday, seeing Person had authored a post, I left another tagged comment.

Person responds with "What the fuck are you talking about?"

I explain, and they go right off - because apparently my email with all my contact details wasn't enough for them to respond.

The email, was enough for them to find and use my work - which Person has confirmed they did and it appears my work has been also sent elsewhere.

The person then blocked me from the Facebook Group, then messages me.

So I removed you because I don’t allow people to speak that way to anyone in the group, myself included. I very clearly stated in multiple groups that I got contributors from that you needed to message me with your address if you wanted a copy. You did not do this and that makes you upset...with me? I see that you left one comment, which I did miss. I didn’t delete any, this is not some conspiracy against you. I do it through messenger with everyone, not just you, so I feel that your anger is a little misplaced or unjustified. I don’t respond well to people treating me in a disrespectful manner, so this ordeal is done and I will delete your piece from all future zines that go out. Unfortunately I can’t do anything about the ones that went out to other contributors, who contacted me through messenger like I asked them to. I’m not sure why you think you should get special treatment when you did not do what I told you that you needed to do in order to get a copy. I am not interested in continuing this conversation further, I’m also not responding to your friend requests.

I did not friend request Person. I do not have Facebook friends who I don't know in person.

 

I replied:

For a start - it was you swearing at me. I emailed you the article as you asked, which you clearly received and used, with all my contact details on it.

You claim you don't have time to read all "comments", but I was expected to read all comments and send you "a message" with my details - which you already have.

I tag you in messages asking politely how things are going, getting increasingly pissed off, seeing in some places you responded to other tagged messages, but not on the topic of the articles.

When you finally respond, you deny, then blame me for not reading comments, but you get too many to read - but you already have ALL my contact details on the email I sent you.

That is a very strange way to operate any publication, and I also wonder if your intent was to use other's work as your own - but sadly I have no proof of this, but your strange behaviour.

Rest assured, I won't be attempting to contact you again.

Then Person blocked me. I was good with that.

Then Person unblocked me and their tirade continued.  I was out at the paddock and for some reason my Facebook on my phone wants me to 'log in' to block people, so I wasn't able to. I went home, tended to my family and went to sleep.

They clearly didn't.

I never said you didn’t read comments?? You are legit tripping rn. You tagged me in comments, not messages. I asked everyone to contact me by message, not comment, not email, by message. Idk how many different ways I have to say this. I have given control of the group almost entirely to the mods, which is why I asked to be contacted by message. You apparently thought that this didn’t apply to you because I had your email, but you were incorrect in that assumption. And now you’re accusing me of trying to pass of your work as mine which is absolutely something that a delusional, paranoid, self absorbed person would say, seeing as I started this zine to help women use their voice and pay for all printing, ink, paper, staples, and do the editing completely by myself. You ma’am, are clinically insane for thinking that and literally no one joins you in that assumption about me. I’m very well known in radical circles and so is the zine, so stealing other women’s work is not what I do. I mean I’m already a published author and ghost writer, I don’t need to steal your work. I’ll say this again—you did not contact me through messenger like I asked every contributor to do. I am not in the habit of giving out special treatment to people. I asked for messages with your address, you did not provide this and now think that there’s a conspiracy of me deleting your comments and stealing your work. You’re fucking unhinged.

Hey so I think we need to have a talk. I was extremely offended at the way you spoke to me last night after I told you that I didn’t know what you were referring to, it was pointed out to me that maybe you thought that I was gas lighting you, so I want to assure you that I wasn’t and that I genuinely did not know if you were even referring to the zine. I looked at your history in the group and saw that you did in fact try to get my attention on the original post, I apologize for not seeing that comment, but like I said, I have given over most of the control of the group to the mods and don’t check it very often. I don’t appreciate the tone you took with me and how you accused me of exploitation in your second comment when I was still confused about what you were even talking about. You took this a step further by accusing me of plagiarism in a message, which is a crime, and I don’t appreciate you making baseless accusations against me because I didn’t respond to your one comment. Like I said, I do not check comments often. I am very busy and don’t devote a lot of time to the group. I was out of line for calling you clinically insane, but I feel that you could have handled this better from the beginning without questioning my honesty and integrity. I barely make any money from the zine and have absolutely no motive for stealing anyone’s work—I want to reiterate that I am perfectly capable of writing my own pieces, and have no interest in stealing yours or anyone’s. I told everyone to send me a message, but let’s assume for our purposes that you did not get these instructions from me. I would have responded more apologetically if I had seen that you had truly exhausted all other ways of trying to contact me, but like I said, there was only one comment and you didn’t message me at all. There were other ways to handle this than accusing me of exploiting the contributors because I didn’t respond to your one comment. If you would like your piece to stay in the zine, that’s still possible. If you want a copy of the zine, that’s still possible. I am sorry that I was rude to you, but I was following the tone that you set when you accused me of exploitation. If we are going to continue to work together I really feel the need to clear the air though.

I promise you I did not delete any of your comments and I have no dishonest intentions regarding any of our contributors writing. I put a lot of time and effort into the zine because I want to give myself and other women a platform that is physical and not just online. I think we just got our signals crossed, but please if you have any issues regarding the zine just message me. It’s the best way to get in touch with me because I use the same email for school, any subscriptions and shopping, personal letters, the zine and all sorts of other stuff. Things get lost there so messaging me through messenger is the best way to contact me about anything.

Lovely with morning coffee.

I replied:

Right up until your incredibly abusive messages, I had some doubt. But wow, calling me unhinged!  Might as well called me hysterical.  I asked for no special treatment, merely acknowledgement of my work, which is your responsibility as a publisher. I point out that you found the article in your email and used it, replying to it shouldn't have been beyond you.

And then I blocked Person using the desktop at 7.09 am.

But it didn't stop there. Person FOUND my email again 😆!

You literally accused me of plagiarism but my messages are “abusive?” You accused me of a literal crime. I admit that I shouldn’t have called you unhinged and I apologize for that, but I feel that you owe me an apology too if you want to continue to work together. You became hostile immediately, while I was still trying to figure out what you were talking about, you angry reacted my comment asking what you were referring to and immediately accused me of exploitation! What reaction did you expect after your little temper tantrum? You commented a grand total of one time and then started in with the baseless accusations. No one else has had an issue contacting me. Why didn’t you just message me instead of publicly accusing me of being dishonest? I don’t feel that you made a real effort to get in touch with me before you had an outburst. No one else has had this complaint! Please, in the future, just message me. It took some digging to find your email. Email is not the method I choose to use to speak to people about the zine. I would feel a lot more sympathetic if you had commented more than once, if you had messaged me, even if you had emailed me I might have seen it. You did none of these things and are Big Mad that I missed your one (1) comment. You made offensive and baseless attacks on my character because I didn’t respond to your one (1) comment because again, most control of the group has been given to the mods. Again, I choose to collaborate with contributors through messenger, not email. Email is not a good way to get in touch with me, and neither is commenting one (1) time on the original post. It seems that you’ve blocked me on messenger now, so now you have no way to get in touch with me. Again, I apologize for calling you unhinged. I feel that I deserve an apology for you accusing me of exploitation and plagiarism. If you don’t want to apologize, that’s your prerogative and I will assume that you don’t want your work to be in the zine or a copy of the zine and as a courtesy to you, I will remove your piece, even though I am in no way obligated to.

In solidarity,

Person

But wait, there's more!

I genuinely just think we got our signals crossed. I genuinely apologize for calling you unhinged but I’m upset that you would make such a bold claim against me when you did not try very hard to contact me. No email, no messages. Like I keep saying, I have not been very involved in that group, so I missed your comment, and I *certainly* have not been secretly deleting your comments in an attempt to steal your work, and I’m not sure why you would accuse me of that. You were openly hostile to me right off the rip, and this all could have been avoided if you tried to contact me directly through messenger, and I probably would have seen an email too. You acted like you had exhausted every method of trying to contact me, but you never made an effort to contact me directly except by commenting once in the group that I am not very involved in. You’re making serious claims against me that could genuinely harm my entire group of collaborators and all of the XXXX (group, my edit). 

In solidarity,

So I replied and then blocked Person on email too. 

1. I am not a mind reader, I do not know what is going on in your life re:email is not a good way to contact you.  It is literally how most of the world works, but not you.

2. I became hostile immediately? "What the fuck are you on about" was your reply. That is pretty hostile. 

3. I do not commonly use messenger - I, like most of the rest of the world conduct my professional communication through email, except you, but I am supposed to "just know" that. 

4. I am sorry you do not know how to use the search function on your email, but again I point out you were able to use your email enough to find and use my article. 

5 I blocked you on messenger because you are sending me passive aggressive tirades - I am not responsible for your replies, how you feel or what you do and do not do.

6 I will be blocking you on email also, 

7. I am done with you. 

But wait, there's more!

I also received a message from a group member, disgusted with Person's behaviour.

Hey Susan! I just wanted to let you know (if you weren’t already aware) that Person (my edit) has made at least two posts about you, publishing private conversations, saying you’re an unhinged, crazy conspiracy theorist accusing her of literal crimes. Much to her surprise, she did not get the responses she intended by posting these and is getting immediately hostile towards anyone who comments in disagreement with her.

Surprise surprise, she is accusing these people (myself included) of things as well, like being “unwell” lol.

I would recommend cutting contact if you haven’t already, and we can all see that she has removed you from the group. She has made it clear that she won’t keep any private conversations private.

I replied:

Thanks very much.  She blew up my phone and email last night (NZ time), with incredibly abusive messages.  I have blocked her. I actually feel sorry for her. I am glad I can walk away.