It's all downhill - really!

Firstly, #notallmen *rolls eyes. Because clearly when speaking of rapists, with the overwhelming majority of rapists being men, means I’m implying ALL MEN ARE RAPISTS. Right so that’s out the way. Secondly, yes men get raped too, most often by other men and I’m certain that if we sort out the abhorrent attitudes of men to rape and the way women who are sexually assaulted are treated, things will be better for male victims too.   Not sure why women are responsible for fixing the world for men too – but there you have it. Thirdly, I’ve left the ‘R’ word out of the title, if there’s one way to ensure low readership on a post, it is to include the word rape in the title. So, to the topic of this blog post. I am intrigued why men are so fucking silent on rape. I recently, (well, binged it yesterday), watched a series from Netflix called Unbelievable, based on a true story. It is a harrowing, but incredibly interesting watch.   I have been the Marie too man...

In 1999, I was abducted off the street in Wellington by a man with a knife. I endured his attack. I reported it to police. I was lucky (bizarre statement considering, you think?).   The investigating detective assigned my case was fantastic. Completely non-judgemental, completely dedicated and endured my ranting for months, he certainly did enough of his own there were many frustrations in his role. We had a very good professional relationship and I am forever grateful for him. He was more therapy than I think he ever knew as I worked through the issue. There were enough cameras in the area and this repeat offender was known to police, and after a media appeal a witness came forward.   All was set to go, they knew where he was.   A warrant was issued and a police unit was assembled, led by my detective who was keeping me informed of every step.   He phoned me, very apologetic. The team had been reassigned, according to my detective, due to ‘political orders’ as...

What do others do? There have been a few battles I've chosen not to fight, and a couple of them I regret not taking up, but sometimes I'm just utterly exhausted from the constant fight, and many of them happen when you're at your most vulnerable (eyes health 'service'). This time I am pissed off.  They simply don't care and expect me to just go away. Why? Do others not battle for right? Fibre is being installed in our area. Five weeks ago my vehicle egress was blocked without any notice, meaning I was unable to get my car out and go to work.  It was a fine day and I had plenty of work to be going on with. The ongoing email communication - The people who were on site told me they'd knocked on my door and that it wasn't their fault I didn't hear them'.  I was walking my child to school, they'd watched me walk out of my driveway and they also watched me walk back and neither time took the opportunity to inform me my vehicular access...

As an attachment parented child, when my child began daycare in October 2018 at, I was prepared to spend several weeks helping him transition to being at an early childcare centre away from his primary caregiver, me his Mum.   Having a Playcentre ECE history and being securely attached, this transition took about 2 hours.     I was at the centre long enough to observe the centre’s practice of Christian prayer in te reo, including the leading teacher demonstrating clasping hands in prayer, before meals.   I raised this, first with a teacher, then the receptionist and had a discussion and meeting with the manager.   During this meeting I explained our family’s belief, that we are atheists and felt prayer was inappropriate in our majority-secular and multi-denomination society [1] .   The manager informed me that I should have asked before enrolling my child and the karakia was part of her Maōri culture.  We had a discussion around tra...

New Zealand has some of the highest family violence and child abuse rates among comparable countries and we top the lists of suicide and bullying statistics too.   Family and whānau violence is a scourge on New Zealand society and it infiltrates every sector, every strata of society.   Police, women’s refuges and coal face workers struggle with the reality of a nation that is violent in thought, word and deed.   In 2016, Police attended about 105,000 family violence incidents and another estimated eighty percent are not reported.   Children are present at about eighty percent of family violence incidents between adults and there were 11,286 substantiated findings of child abuse in the twelve months ending in March 2017.   Researches and politicians struggle to increase public awareness of the depth of the problem and how serious it is.   The problem of sibling violence is an area of family violence that is under-researched and potentially one of t...

Today I realised I can no longer walk around the town I live in.   I realised that if  a dog chased me, like one did this morning, and my toddler was with me, I wouldn't have been able to run.  Today I thought the loose, aggressive dog, that growled then ran at me from within a fully fenced property with the gate left open, that I have reported before, was going to get me.     I realised that no matter how much I railed at the machine – it has beaten me.   Today I realised, they win.   Today. I. Give. Up. Walk, says the physiotherapist. Walk, says the surgeon. I like walking.   On 30 December 2017, I slipped on our bush track driveway, causing a spiral fracture requiring surgery and some hardware.   As there was no way I could cope with the rough roads and tracks of home, I began spending a lot of time at my elder son’s home in Kaikohe, and as I could I walked.   I was concerned at the number of roaming dogs loose in Kaik...